We Went to Canada! Pt. 3: Niagara Falls

This article is the third in a series about our spring trip to Canada. You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

Let me start by stating that the whole reason we went to Canada was ostensibly to see Niagara Falls. As I’ve mentioned before, as kids my parents took us a couple times, and since my husband and kids had never been there, I wanted them to experience it for themselves. That being said, Niagara was one of my daughters’ favorite part of the trip, and my least favorite!

Niagara is composed of two parts: the Canadian side in Ontario and the United States’ side in New York state. After doing research, I realized that sticking to the Canadian side was preferable. Allegedly, the New York side is nowhere near as interesting. By “interesting,” I mean touristy! It didn’t matter what we had decided in advance anyways, since we forgot our passports! Even if we had wanted to cross the border, we couldn’t.

It’s under two hours from Toronto to Niagara, and you skirt along Lake Ontario the whole way. It’s an easy drive.

The videos and blogs showed a town that I can only describe as a mini-Las Vegas for kids. Ferris wheels, carnivalesque traps, tacky restaurant chains, and neon signs galore. It is the absolute opposite of the natural beauty of the falls, in a way that is jarring to say the least. We went on a rainy, cool day, which meant that it wasn’t crowded at all. Parking is expensive there, but we drove around checking prices until we found a reasonably-priced lot nearby. We walked down the main strip, Clifton Hill street, a short way to get to the falls.

I had bought tickets to the Canadian version of the Maid of the Mist, Niagara City Cruises, so we could take a boat right up to the waterfalls. We were early for our scheduled time, so we checked out a nearby gift shop and used the restrooms. My oldest daughter and I briefly strolled the pretty and secluded Oakes Garden Theatre, and then the four of us crossed Niagara River Parkway to board.

You are given a poncho for the ride, and boy, do you need it! The combination of rain that day, plus the mist and direct shower from the falls left us drenched. Even without the rain, I would plan to get soaked. it’s a good idea to bring a change of clothes so you aren’t walking around sopping wet and shivering afterwards. We also bought waterproof phone protectors—but we forgot those, too!

Once you are on board, the ride is twenty action-packed minutes. It takes you up close to all three falls: the American Falls, Bridal Veil Falls, and the largest, Horseshoe Falls. People screamed in delight as the water poured down on us. Red ponchos flapped in the wind. The deck was splashing wet. It was hilarious, so much fun, and so worth the price. Do not skip it!

The rest of Niagara was . . . not my jam. But our kids LOVED it, especially our eight-year-old. Even though I did a ton of research, trying to find a lunch place with a view that was well-rated (nothing there seems to be excellent quality, though with that many tourists in and out I imagine there’s a fair share of complainers), we ended up at—of all places—the Rain Forest Café! Apparently it’s the only one left in Canada. I never went as a kid; there was no way my father would pay those kind of prices for that kind of kitsch. So my husband and I thought, what the hell, they won’t be kids forever.

Our youngest was not deterred by the musty scent or the subpar cuisine. She loved when it would fake thunderstorm and the animals would come to life, roaring and squawking (some did not, probably broken or worn down by age). We let her order a special frosty drink that came with a souvenir frog mug. Honestly, it was the least we could do, since they endure the high-falutin bistros and galleries I drag them to with relative ease.

After that, we went in more souvenir shops, AKA my version of a bad dream. Our older daughter got a forest green Canada hoodie with a beaver on it. In that same souvenir shop, Anthony used the restroom and was fairly certain someone was smoking crack in the next stall. I guess nothing says “visit a natural wonder” like illegal drugs!

Briefly, through the clouds, the sun came out, and so did the crowds of tourists as we returned to stroll along the falls’ edge. We took selfies, paid for the kids to use the viewfinders, and tried to take in the majesty as the falls’ tremendous white roar drowned everything out.

Later, Anthony took the kids to a funhouse where they laughed at their images in wavy mirrors, journeyed through a jungle of neon-glowing dangling poles, and played some sort of life-sized cosmic Pac Man. After that, everybody was beat, and we got back in the car to return to Toronto.

In the backseat, our youngest sighed and declared that someday, when she grew up, she would live in Niagara—right after we saw a tired-looking streetwalker weave down the road. That pretty much sums up our day in Niagara!

A few days after our Canada trip ended, we received the postcard we sent ourselves with the falls on it, a tradition my husband and I started on our honeymoon.