The Year of the Fire Horse, or: How I Missed Last Month’s Blog Post

Well, hey there. It’s 2026. Aside from a couple poems I’ve thrown up on the blog, I haven’t been around much lately.

Recently, I shared a meme on Instagram:

And frankly, that’s pretty much right on the money.

At the close of 2025, I held a workshop for the St. Charles Writers Group where we made vision boards for what we wanted to accomplish as writers in the new year. Even the most wizened of tough guys broke into wide grins, colored with markers and cut photos from magazines. It was a joyous morning.

I already knew I was going to dedicate 2026 to the novel I have been working on for almost 10 years. This year, I was going to learn the power of “No” to others in favor of the power of “Yes” to myself.

For a person previously uncomfortable with asserting myself, this was a big deal. I explained to more than one organization or person asking of my time that this year, I had to accomplish my personal goals before I could give of myself elsewhere. I was—am—really proud of that.

And it started off well. After Page to Stage wrapped up at the end of January/beginning of February, I was going to work on my book in all my spare time.

Around this time, my social media’s algorithm kept pounding into my brain that last year was the Chinese Year of the Snake, which meant I was shedding the old parts of me who no longer served a purpose. Okay, okay, I nodded, that totally makes sense! I was beginning to set boundaries, prioritize myself, and cast off anything that wasn’t fruitful, personally or professionally.

By the end of February, we would transition into the Year of the Fire Horse, galloping into our powerful, bold new selves. Yes! I thought. I am ready for this! Bring it on!

The Universe heard me, but not in the way I meant it.

Everything crashed down around me.

That may sound extreme. Neither myself nor anyone close to me became sick or died in the past couple months, and I am beyond grateful for that. I still have my beautiful family, my amazing friends, and a life I count my blessings for every day.

One by one, I seemed to be hit with a tsunami I couldn’t swim myself away from. It felt like I didn’t have time to come up for air from one personal crisis before another wave would hit.

And yes, if you viewed my social media or interacted with me in person, you might have no idea. You might think I’m being histrionic. I did, after all, act in theatre for decades.

But for every time I smiled, there was a time when I was sobbing uncontrollably.

It makes me well up right now just to type that.

I’m still not out of it.

When the Lunar New Year came around, I thought, Thank you ancestors, last year is finally over. It’s got to get better now.

It didn’t.

February ended, and I thought, March will be it.

It wasn’t.

The Earth turned and we reached the Vernal Equinox, and the pagan in me worshipped, hoping the old season was left behind.

Sunshine certainly helps. Therapy, sleep, a gratitude journal, meditation, yoga, walks in nature—all things I engage with regularly—definitely help. Some wounds are healing. Some are still raw.

This year has forced me to assert myself in ways I never anticipated. I had to walk away from what wasn’t healthy. It also forced me to look inward into what I am made of. It hurt; I hated it, all of it terribly painful. But in doing so, in the moments where I just wanted to be washed away, I know I was making myself stronger.

It’s funny how you go into a new year thinking one thing is going to happen, only to have the pitching machine of life whipping fastballs at you while you duck and cover, bat- and mitt-less.

I am learning in my mid-forties that’s what adulthood is: Catching what you can, dodging what you can’t, just trying not to get conked out in the process. Somehow still getting your work done, making sure your kids are taken care of, the house is relatively clean, paying bills, showing up for others, showing up for yourself.

Knowing the bleakest moments won’t stay so bleak. We’ll find our way back to land eventually. I’m finding my way back to myself and a new awareness of what matters.

Spring break is in a matter of days, and I can’t wait to reset and spend time with my loved ones.

Plus, today’s opening day—

Play ball.